Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Haunted Diner's LiveJournal:

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Monday, March 20th, 2006
8:24 am	Right. Well, for reasons I'd rather not get into right now, this journal is going friend's-only for the forseeable future. If someone wants to be friended, feel free to leave a comment here, though I'm not really posting very much these days. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
5:26 pm	Musings on the Road in China Hi! So, I know I haven't posted in a while, we've been on the road traveling in China and I've mostly been posting in the other journal. But I got some stuff I want to get off my chest and I don't want to sound bitchy, so I'm putting them over here. ( Read more... ) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 7th, 2006
6:08 pm	Outtamyhead vireo and I have been filling out forms and basically bureaucrating all damn day. As if grading 250 finals weren't enough, we've got to fill out paper work on all of them as well. I've never done this before, this much paper work work. We're both totally fried and yearning to get the hell out of Yantai before the University invents more paperwork for us to do. In a completely unrelated note, we finally got our DVD player back from the shop. The damn thing broke just when we needed to watch DVDs while we graded. It's been in the shop for over a week. And when we got it back today, it still doesn't work! And the store won't replace the DVD player cause "the factory doesn't have any spares" and as far as we know we can't get our money back, but they are willing to repair the DVD player again. Maybe this time they'll actually repair it? On the plus side, the dream of vacation is practically tangible. vireo read descriptions of Hainan, the Chinese Hawaii, to me this morning and I got totally excited about travel and adventure. I even suggested we go out for hotpot for lunch today, even though I usually don't like it because it's hard to order and I got sick the last time I ate it. The idea of spending the next month in a tropical paradise without a care in the world seems like such a cliche, but one I owe myself a chance of debunking. Last of all, because I find this sort of thing cute... ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
11:44 pm	Bad Poetry Time I've been wanting to post this for quite a while, at the risk of sounding like an ugly American. But some people said they wanted to hear the dirt about China, so here goes... ( Read more... ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 2nd, 2006
8:05 am	What's worse than running too fast, slipping on a tile floor, banging your knee and wrenching your neck? Doing it in front of 100 Chinese students about to take your final exam. At least I could still stutter out a mangled Chinese "It's all good!" before limping off with my fractured pride. Current Mood: Fried from Finals Current Music: Damian Marley (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
7:19 am	I need a reality check. Does the fact that I'm analyzing the vocabulary and handwriting of two of my students to verify if they've cheating on their timed essay mean I've gone completely off the deep end? Vote now! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
10:29 am	Pissed off and confused I don't think I've really had a chance to post about this yet, just sort of stew in it. Basically, this student came to vireo's and my office hour and ended up flirting with me a lot. This sort of thing happens quite a bit. I mean, I don't know, I don't keep track of it or anything. To be honest, I feel really egotistical just talking about it. A lot of female students are attracted to me. Female students will say things like "you're very attractive" in a nervous sort of way. Male students will say to vireo "Female students think he's attractive. You should be careful they don't try and take him away from you." The whole thing makes me feel really uncomfortable. I feel really bad whenever it happens because I don't know what to say. I try to laugh it off when it happens and then move on. But what do you say when someone comes up and tells you that other people are trying to break you apart? It feels spiteful. I feel like I don't know how to tactfully deflect these comments. I think I err on the side of politeness, but sometimes I just want to say to students "That comment is inappropriate." vireo tells me that it would just encourage people if they see me getting frustrated, and she's probably right, but I just feel like the students can be so pushy and I'm not going to get them to stop by being polite. Part of the problem for me is that I've never had to deal with anything like this before. Not to tell sob stories or anything but I was a late bloomer, I've spent most of my life being that funny looking nerd who would rather read books than talk to people. I may have had a good sense of humor, but I rarely had a good sense of self esteem, and that's stayed with me. It wasn't until college that I began to think of myself as attractive in any sort of way, and those feelings were kind of few and far between. I don't really know how to deal with that kind of attention from people. I guess I just want to ignore it. Of course, I don't think people here are interested in me because of my looks, I think they're just after me for my money (which is not much). There's an expectation here that all foreign men are rich and looking for sex with Chinese women. I've been told several times that it's common for teachers to sleep with their students. So I have no delusion that girls who look at me are only looking at me as a stable paycheck/future provider, but it still feels degrading. What do you think? Is it just because vireo and I aren't married yet that you think you can break us apart and steal me away? It just makes me feel so dirty and so angry. The thing that frustrates me the most is that, because of this situation, I basically don't feel comfortable making friends with any of my students. I don't want to be friends with my female students because I don't feel comfortable around them anymore. I feel like I can't do anything that they could misconsture as encouraging. I know two foreign teachers here who have girlfriends back home and they've taken to growing really ugly beards in order to discourage their female students from flirting with them. To be honest, I've considered doing the same thing myself. How sad is it that I feel like I have to make myself ugly in order to be left alone? I've even felt like being stricter, less funny and more boring in my classes so that students will like me less, even though that would mean I have to stop being myself and go back to being evil teacher person. And you know I can't really make friends with the guys either because I feel that a lot of them resent me for distracting the female students from them, plus I prefer female friends anyway. Or I used to. I just feel now like I can't really make friends with any of my students. I want to say one last thing. I feel like most of the other foreign teachers here (mostly the old ones) don't understand that vireo and I like to do a lot of things together. They keep trying to drag me out to do things with "the guys". But I don't like "the guys". I'd rather hang out with "the girls", only there are no "girls" here. The male foreign teachers keep giving me this attitude like "why do you two have to be together all the time?" Guess what, it's not because vireo controls me and makes me stay in all the time when I'd much rather get stupid drunk and hang around with men (as if), it's because we love each other and we like spending time together. I know you can't commit to a relationship and you don't like your wife anymore, but let us enjoy our relationship, okay? Wow, that was kind of venomous for me. I must be feeling frustrated. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
6:33 am	More Astrology Coming At You Horoscope for Dec 15-21 The holiday season is a stressful one for all of us. I, for one, should be grading essays and getting ready for several final exams right now. So, as a benevolent gesture, here are some recommendations for how each sign can best survive the next week. Enjoy! And let me know if they help. Aries Y'all gonna need two hats. First, you're going to need a shiny tinfoil hat to protect yourself from the orbital mind control lasers that aliens/the government/santa claus is going to use to drive you crazy this week. As if you need this during the holidays! Second, you're going to need a really flashy hat to distract everyone's attention from the tinfoil hat underneath. This can be whatever you want, a Jackie Kennedy Pillbox deal, Pilgrim bonnet, Carmen Sandiego fedora, Mad Hatter Tophat, whatever is crazy and that you've been lusting after. Let this hat inspire you to add some sass into your life to chase those holiday tweekers away. Taurus The stars have two words for you: luxury and comfort. How you combine the two is up to you, but as I'm a tacky frugal bastard, I'd go with a bag of chocolate gold coins (they look like money!), a new beanbag chair from the thrift store, and some quality time with MTV's Cribs. If that's not your deal, substitute beanbag chair with hammock, waterbed, or divan and substitute Cribs with Pride and Prejudice or clothing catalogues, whatever will make you feel royal. You deserve it! Gemini During the holidays it can be difficult to stay in touch with the ones you love. You need to get a little something to help you stay connected with your best friend. This could be as simple as a can and string telephone set, a new code/language that only you two will understand, or an old set of walkie talkies; this could also be more complicated and useful, like a set of cheap webcams or some calling cards. Remember, you're not alone. Cancer The house is a mess, relatives are coming by, and you haven't upgraded your furniture since last year. Ease your stress by creating your dream house out of any one of these materials: legos, gingerbread, doll furniture, or The Sims. Give your dream house a festive theme and show it to the relatives, they'll appreciate your desires more than reality. Leo Photo time! Head on down to the arcade for a session with the photobooth or the old fashion photo shop. Or get a friend to take some photos of you looking your best/funniest/sexiest. Put these up next to your mirror or in some other prominent place so that when you're feeling down you have a subtle reminder that you rock. Virgo For Virgo, I'm going to have to say quantity over quality. You have free license to head down to the Salvation Army and pick up all that crazy stuff you've always wanted. Mexican Prayer Candles, Fondue Pots, Bowling trophies, waffle irons, punch bowls, picture frames, egg beaters, blenders and flower vases are just some starter ideas. Go for function, go for quantity, go for cheap, just go for it! Libra Bad news. The Sagittarian sun is giving you an extra strength dose of clutziness this week. Better stock up on protective measures. A roll cage for your car would be supreme, but a gyroscope might also help you while you're walking around. Some new clothes might help you in advance in case you spill anything, just make sure they're comfortable and maybe a little padded. Last of all, it might be a good idea to spend time around other patient and understand people, to help pick you up if you happen to crash. Scorpio If you live anywhere near the San Francisco Bay Area, I'd say you should get yourself a trip to the tactile dome in the Exploratorum. See how long you can hide in there and scare other people before they kick you out. If you can't make this, I'd say pick up a magnifying class, a pair of sunglasses with mirrors in them, and a mini tape recorder in order to aid you in your efforts to get to the bottom of things. Sagittarius Squirt guns, dart guns, disappearing ink pens, nerf cannons and those toy guns that light up and make noises will all help you in two ways. First of all, there's the joy you'll get in shooting people with them. Second of all, there's the joy you'll get when the people you shot eventually stop taking themselves so seriously and start laughing too. Capricorn The best way to avoid feeling run down is to immerse yourself in things that remind you of your favorite heroes. Comic books, biographies, movies, whatever you can find. Think of who inspires you and then immerse yourself in that person. This'll give you the fortitude to make it to next week. Aquarius I'm not going to explain this one, but rather, I'm going to leave it as a puzzle for you to sort out and either accept or reinterpret. Christmas lights, a remote control car, a neon sign, strobe light, disco ball, police siren, or a clapper. Pisces I know this is going to cost me, but you need to get a new pair of shoes. I'm sorry I ruined your last pair, and I know that finding new shoes is a pain in the ass, but it's getting cold and a new pair of shoes will help you feel warm, comfortable and sexy. Hopefully some shoes with grit on them, too, so you won't slide around so much. Current Mood: jolly Current Music: Vireo and I trying to remember the 12 days of christmas (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
11:28 pm	Student Paper (Frickin' Hilarious) To preface this, I have one student in particular who I hate. She asked to join my classes 4 weeks after they started, then she tried to turn in all her new assignments late, then she tried to fake her interview assignment. She claims to have interviewed the CEO of China's largest milk company, and she then wrote this total Dickensian sobstory biography about the CEO about how his parents abandoned him, he was adopted by a family that was so poor that he had to buy a second hand suit for his wedding, then he slowly rose to the top of a company before getting fired, which led him to start his own company on speculation. ANYWAY, I just finished reading another assignment from her, where the job was to find a news article and rewrite it in a sensationalist style. At last, she's found her calling. Education Can Crush Poverty Without education, you will not have clothes, food, house. You're a beggar. You like a guy without any clothes running on the streets. No girl or boy will marry you. Moreover, you don't have a baby. Now, Bush is coming. Look at what he will performance as a guy. Adressing the United Nations this week, President Bush was unequivocal in his determination to close the gap between economic haves and have-nots. "We will fight to life the burden of poverty from places of suffering not just for the moment but permanently." he shouted as a dog. And the surest path to greater wealth is greater trade. "Shit, what a sick Bush. Go away, your wife is delivering." Free trade is important, to be sure, but if Bush truly wants to get serious about creating a global socheaty in which economic opportunity is available to all, he should start right here at home. "Bush, your wife has given birth to a daughter for you again. You'd better hurry to go home to see her." Among adults ages 25 to 34, the United State now ranks ninth among industrialized nations for the shame of its population with at least a high school education. "We'd like to shame the same educational opportunity with your daughter. Otherwise we'll pull of your trousers." (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
1:54 am	Dorky Confession Time I have a dorky, dorky confession to make: I have always wanted to write for radio. Not write NPR style news program documentary things, I want to write serial radio comedy and drama. Episodic stuff, you know? Tune in next week to find out what happens next! Episodic radio soap operas. I think this is because in radio I feel like I can play to my strengths (dialogue/ideas/plot) and downplay my weaknesses (actions/descriptions), becaue you only have the auditory world. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any kind of market for that kind of radio any more. It's funny, I've never even listened to a lot of old radio, but I almost feel like I was born into the wrong time for the kind of writing I want to try. Sometimes I think about writing out a "season" of radio episodes, getting some friends to voice it and do sound effects, then burning the thing on to cd and distributing it as a kind of "audio book/compilation of radio shows". But I've never heard anybody else express an interest in writing or hearing anything like this, so I feel like a big ol' dork. But, you know, the idea is still in my head. Maybe one day. For an idea of what I'm talking about, check out the entries I made during the first three months I had this journal way back in 2002. Back when I started the journal I wanted to use it do serial fiction. I had totally forgotten how much I love those characters and I want to bring them back! I'll probably repost those entries soon in some other format so they're easier to read. Oh, and now you'll know why I call this journal "Haunted Diner". =) Current Mood: dorky Current Music: Imagining Old Jazzy Radio Music (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 12th, 2005
10:08 am	Stars in my Eyes I've always wanted to write my own astrology column, so I've decided to finally bite the bullet, borrow liberally from www.nightlightnews.com, and reinterpret freely. Enjoy! Overview for the Week (Dec 8-14) Aries Now is the time to throw that wacky concept party you've been dreaming of, the one where you and your friends dress up in ridiculous clothes, get really drunk, and talk about very silly things that seem really profound at the time. But try and do all this on a budget. My recommendation is that you start by hitting the thrift stores for some cheap tackiness. But then, I'm always advocating that. Oh, and try not to be too hungover when you go to work the next day because someone's got a surprise for you. Taurus The chore wheel has spun and it's calling your name. Expect to spend a lot of time in doors Martha Stewart-ing. Don't worry too much, though, you'll get a psychic Cliffbar and a second wind at the last moment. Pack your bags or your backage, you're going on a trip soon. Don't drink too much or you might end up reacquainting yourself with some stuff you thought you digested long ago. Gemini This week you will all but appear on some schmaltzy day time talk show and, while drinking coffee, you will be wrapped in love and understanding. You'll deny the experience and will talk shit about it to everyone around you, but that you'll secretly be touched by it. Go ahead, write a tell-all book. Nobody will laugh. Cancer Choose your favorite upbeat showtune or perky black and white movie (yes, I suppose you could got with "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" if you really must) and innudate yourself with it this week as if it were a personal mantra with the power to transform your life. Gradually you'll become so goofy and happy that you will find yourself growing better, stronger, faster, able to accomplish anything you set your mind to. However, bear in mind that you run the risk of annoying your housemates and you may have to spend quite a bit of time outside the house while they cool down. Leo Yes, I know you're not really working, but that's okay. The universe is on your side, and one day very soon, the world is going to applaud that novel/song/rpg/comic you were crafting while you were supposed to be working. Like Bill and Ted, you will be worshipped. Just keep it on the down lo right now. Virgo You've managed to piss off your parents, not only by disobeying them, but by being wildly successful (or at least happy) while doing it. Good, you've proved your point. Now you've got to listen to them a little bit before you end up going too far and they start in with the "I told you so's!" I hate to say it, but them's the stars. If it gets unbearable, pretend to listen to them while fantasizing about kicking it in somewhere exotic. Libra You may actually read that book on investing rather than staring at in on the shelf and worrying vaguely about whether you'll have a future or not. Justify your recent travel extravaganza by claiming you were "networking" the whole time. Bite the bullet and call your sib. They need warm fuzzies and they're not going to ask for it. Because they're scorpios. Scorpio I'm not going to say that you hemorrhage money and gamble that you'll get it back somehow, because I know you'll kill me. Besides, there's always the chance you might blow some of that money on me. If you are going to gamble on the future, your best bet is to find some career where you compassionately corrupt everyone around you while still remaining two steps ahead of the law. I'll leave this up to your interpretation. Brainstorm some crazy career ideas and seal them up in that safe you think you're hiding behind that Betty Page poster. If I were a betting man I'd say one of those career ideas will generate for you either cash or some really good drunk stories. Sagitarrius Yeah, I know it looks like your life sucks, but just remember that Meg Ryan always ends up with Tom Hanks. Yes, I know he's in love with another woman, or he's dying of a brain disease, or they're professional rivals, it doesn't matter. They always end up together. So when you find your ex with someone else, you get fired, or some asshole spills shit on your new clothes, just keep reminding yourself that Meg Ryan always ends up with Tom Hanks. Allow their heartwarming love to guide you through the hard times. Or make sarcastic jokes about the two of them to ease you through the hard times, whatever works. Capricorn So, you hate your job, and you're freaking out that it's sucking the life and creativity out of you. Maybe you're working in an office and you'd rather be modeling professionally. Maybe you're working retail and you'd rather be painting. Maybe you're stuck in crappy college classes you didn't want and you'd rather be bowling. Guess what, the stars are giving you the greenlight to find some way of fusing the job you hate with the job you want. Work overtime at the office so you can pose nude in your cubicle, get all Jackson Pollock-y on your cash register, or persuade your TA to hold section at the bowling alley. It may sound crazy, but you can pull it off. Aquarius Embrace your inner Silent Bob. People may dismiss you at first 'cause you seem goofy, but you know your shit and people will always recognize that in the end. When you do say something, everyone realizes you were right all along. And if they don't, then make like Kevin Smith and take a break from your usual screenwriting to do some comic writing. Changing your scene may be just what you need. Pisces Like the new Violet Beauregard in Tim Burton's new "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", you are becoming a hyper goal-oriented person. Go you! Get that blackbelt, win that gum competition, you're a superstar! But pay attention to that little voice in your head saying don't eat experimental gum offered by a creepy Micheal Jackson wannabe, especially after he let that Augustus Gloop get sucked up a pipe, or you run the risk of becoming a giant blueberry. I hope this was as informative and amusing for you as it was for me. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
9:59 am	Another Holiday Dream A couple years ago my friend, Janelle, brought me a stack of Hawaiian patches, little 3"x3" squares of Hawaiian shirt fabric. Unfortunately, the patches are all different designs and colors, so I couldn't really make a shirt out of them. I haven't know what to do with them for quite awhile, but now I do. I want to make a patchwork scarf out of Hawaiian patches. It would be great! I could stitch them all together in a scarf-like shape and stuff them with loose wool so that the whole thing will stay warm. I'm particularly pleased with this idea because, as I'm coming to discover, most winter clothes are pretty muted and bland. A problem I never had to contend with in sunny CA. Unfortunately, the patches are in Marin, along with any sewing supplies I might have, so the project is going to have to go on hold until we get back. But I'm dreaming about it. In the meantime, vireo and I went out winter clothes shopping today, and I got a less bright scarf. It might not be as colorful as my dream scarf, but at least it'll keep my nose warm! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:07 am	My Holiday Dream I have a dream. One day, when we're in some sort of stable living situation. By stable I mean that both vireo and I will have fairly reliable jobs that pay decently and make us content; we have an apartment/house that we're satisfied with in a city we can actually imagine settling down in for a while. I'll know we've reached that point when I can say "Honey, let's get a cat!" without worrying about feeding it, having enough time for it, or having to leave it because we suddenly need to move to some place where they don't allow cats (I would never take in a cat and then abandon it). On Cat Day, I know I will have successfully grown as a person. I'll also be stable enough to begin accumulating pointless crap without having to worry about housing or selling it if we have to move again. And what I've always wanted (though not more than a cat) is to get one of those little Victorian christmas miniature sets. You know, the sort of thing with little carolers and snowmen, kids sledding and miniature candy shoppes. My Grandma used to have a little Dickensian village that she'd pull out every December, complete with a white cotton faux snow and little mirrors to simulate frozen lakes. I want to have a set just like that someday. And in the middle, the centerpiece, would be a big plastic Godzilla, with a santa hat and a big bag of toys for all the good girls and boys. When I have that Santa Godzilla, I'll know I'll have successfully remained an immature person. Now if only I could think of a way to keep the cat from eatting all the miniatures. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
5:44 am	Icons!!!!11 I have new icons! I made them myself! For the first time! I'm so proud of myself! Also, I threw out some old teachers shirts that are plain and boring and make me feel plain and boring and teachery. Which means I have almost no long sleeve shirts any more and it's freezing here. But that's okay! Viva la Hawaiian shirt! That is all. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
11:56 pm	Desperately Seeking Song I really, really love this song. I've only heard it once, years ago, but someday I'll be able to find it on a cd. "...But I Was Cool" by Albert Collins ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
3:56 pm	Top 10 Guilty Pleasures Indulgent thoughts on a cold winter day (cooped inside). In order of least to most embarrassing (pretty arbitrary): 10. "Hudson Hawk" (Everyone but me seems to think this was stupid) 9. "It's a Wonderful Life" (Everyone but me seems to think this is cheesy) 8. The "Sliders" TV show (Often bad, but it started so good!) 7. "Quantum Leap" spin-off novels (Couldn't get enough of the show!) 6. Art Nouveau prints (I'm afraid this makes me a yuppie) 5. Little kid pop-up books (especially the kinds with little tabs where you could make dinosaures fly and stuff) 4. Melted cheese on pretzels (about the least healthiest thing in the world for me) 3. Reading the same book over and over again. 2. Listening to Morrissey's "I Am The Last of the Famous International Playboys" on repeat for as long as I can before someone stops me. (Usually when no one is home) 1. A day without showering. (For hygiene reasons I don't indulge in this one too often) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
2:52 am	Noon Time! So, as you might have gathered from vireo's recent post, I spent all of yesterday lounging around the house, recovering from the WORST case of food poisoning I've ever had. I wrote a long, very graphic post about it and livejournal lost it. Probably for the best. I'm feeling much better now. Still kind of weak and tired. I've resolved not to do any work for the rest of the day, just to give myself a chance to finish recovering. Of course, it would have to happen that at the exact moment I decide this I get an email from one of my students saying that she won't be attending class for the next MONTH because she signed up for a test prep class that won't let students leave on weekdays, and would I be kind enough to email all her assignments to her. I haven't decided what to do yet, but in the spirit of the moment I would just like to say: FUCK YOU! On the plus side, I'm madly in love with my new Jeff Noon book, Nymphomation. He's got all the puns and wordplay you'd find in a Spider Robinson book, but not in the annoying, in-your-face manner that Robinson sometimes falls into. The other thing I like about Noon is that his books are often non-sensical, but in a way that gradually starts to make sense to you. Compare these two passages: "It was Domino Day in lucky old Manchester, and the natives were making love to the television, all glazen-eyed and drunken as the opening credits came into view. A tumbling ballet of dominoes, forever changing their spots. Dig that tumbling! Even the air was excited, loaded with messages, buzzing out loud. Blurbflies, singing the streets alive with adverts. Play to win! Play to win! And all over the city that wet Friday evening, three hours from midnight and surrounded by the rain, hordes of punters were clacking their bones on coffee tables and bar tops, computer desks and kitchen counters, watching the dots pulsate in tune as the theme song started up." p. 11 "Lucky young Bone Day. Dotty old Pipchester! Game 44. Throw those bones, you burger-gutted dribbleheads. Make honeyspot to the pimplevision. Gamble fast, live long, make cash. Change the orifice. Let loose the digits! Tumbling and falling, cascading mist of bonejuice, genetic flash. Sing those swarms, broadcast your tongueflies, alive with blurbverts. Sex your gamble, long your life, cash your bones. Play to win! Play to win! And all over the city that numberday evening, moments from boneflight, how happy were the hordes! Jabbering their dancing eyes on windows and walls and floorboards and thighs and meat pies and trouser flies and psychedelic, hippy throw-cushions. Watching the dots. Pulsating, booming, coming on strong. Losing the day job, winning the prize. The world turning on a rainbow of pips..." p. 159 It should come as no surprise that after a night of no-sleep and a chunk of Jeff Noon that my mind yesterday was pretty spacey. I remember at one point, when vireo said that she was hungry, I thought to myself: "I shall have to grab some frozen meat from the freezer and stick it in the microwave with some wood, because the solid nature of the wood is needed to draw the meat from the Platonic realm of ideas into solid food. But where to get a piece of wood that will fit in the microwave?" I told this to vireo later, she can confirm it. The funny thing is that there is nothing in Nymphomation that talks about wood in the microwave or Platonic Idea Realm food, it's just the style of the book that invaded my mind. Now, back to Noon for me. P.S. I wonder if Grant Morrisson reads Jeff Noon. If ever there were a pair of kindred spirits, it's those two. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 28th, 2005
12:51 am	Tracking Down Childhoood Treasures That reminds me, since about October I've been trying to remember the name of this book or series of books I remember reading when I was a wee child. It was about these two girls, probably in middle school, who solved mysteries with the help of their bloodhound. It had lots of pictures and I think one of the girls had long straight brown hair and the other had short frizzy orange hair. The bloodhound looked perpetually gloomy, as bloodhounds do. I don't remember if this book or books were all that good, but I'd really like to find them again if I could. Anybody remember reading these when they were younger? Also, does anybody know why they stopped making "Choose Your Own Adventure Books"? Those things were the bomb! I wonder if sales started to decline, or if videogames were the more interesting form of interactive storytelling, but I remember some really good "Choose Your Own Adventure Books" and I wish they kept making more. (Comment on this)
12:24 am	In which I am pleased to discover that I have no hips I don't know why, but I've been eager to post this for quite a while. For the last couple of years (maybe even longer), I have not been able to find a pair of pants that fit. Whenever I put on a pair of pants I'd always end up with the crotch of the pants being really baggy and hanging down really low, sometimes so low that it prevented me from having a full range of motion with my thighs. I never knew exactly what the problem was. I couldn't pull the pants up highers because then I'd have to belt them around my belly and that's really uncomfortable. And I couldn't really think of a way to ask for pants with a low rise top, besides, I think they would just hang low on me as well. Finally, vireo pointed out the problem...I have no hips! I have no hips even for a guy! When I put on pants, they come to rest on my thighs, which have had to get big and strong to compensate. All this time I thought the reason my pants don't fit is because my gut is too big so I have to wear my pants low. I feel free now! Free to love my body! I have no hips! Also, now I'm totally allowed to swear suspenders. I've always loved suspenders and the whole 40's look of suspenders, high pants, and a fat little tie. Usually when I wear them, though, I feel like some kind of hick reject from an 80's video, something like "Come On Eileen". I used to worry that suspenders are just a fat man's way of getting out of wearing a belt because it's uncomfortable, but now I'm excited because I practically NEED to wear suspenders because I have no hips. Happy day! Now this begs the question: Is it possible to wear Hawaiian shirts with suspenders and not look like a total dork? And if not, do I care? On a totally unrelated note: I met Joey Ramone in a dream I had last night. Unfortunately, he looked and acted exactly like this smart ass student I taught last year. The whole encounter was predictably disappointing, Joey Ramone kept sassing me and he wouldn't turn in his homework. Current Music: Wishing I had some Ramones music now! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 24th, 2005
2:46 am	Good Meme-ories One of the things I love about vireo is that periodically we'll be doing something and I'll suddenly remember this completely unrelated memory of us having a good time. For example, "Remember that time we had sushi in Virginia and we drunk that whole bottle of plum wine and spent the rest of the night looking for the one gay bar in Charlottesville?" So in the spirit of giving thanks, I urge anyone interested to post in their own journal the good memories that they have of friends and loved ones. Let's create a huge LJ ball of love! Other good vireo memories: "Remember when we sang "Hello, I Love You" by the Doors at Karaoke together in Elmer Fudd voices?" "Remember when we rented motorboats in Beijing and that little kid shot bubbles at us and when we tried to return the boat the boat attendant freaked out and shouted 'Miss! Go Away!'?" "Remember when you made up that treasure hunt for Valentine's Day and hid clues cleverly all along Pacific Avenue and I couldn't figure out the code at the end but you helped me out?" "Remember that time we had lobster in Monterey and watched 'Faust' in that old theatre with a live orchestra?" "Remember that time we found the perfect waterfall in Big Sur?" "Remember that time you came home from work to find a Medieval Masquerade ball, complete with meatpie, Shakespearean sonnets, and mandolin music?" (4 Comments |Comment on this)